How to Win Friends and Influence People is touted as ‘the only book you need to lead you to success’. Now that I know all of the rules, I think there is one more hidden in plain sight that is crucial to being an effective communicator.
Let me introduce it with a story. In January of last year, I was applying for internships. During one interview I was asked a fairly standard question about what sets me apart from other candidates. I hadn’t answered anything like that before, so I nervously went with my gut. I said ‘Uh, what about a story. Can I tell you a story?’. The story itself isn’t important. In all honestly, I probably did a poor job telling it.
However, after hearing my story, the interviewer said this to me: ‘I don’t know if you did this intentionally or not, but what you just did there is one of the most powerful methods of human communication’.
For the record, I didn’t do that intentionally. But you could see that he was expecting an answer that he must’ve heard a thousand times: ‘Oh, I’m so dedicated, I’ve done this and this project, I’ve worked for companies A and B’, and so on. That was the perfect time to use a story. And funnily enough, that’s why the story itself didn’t matter. Just using one is what set me apart, and ultimately got me the job offer.
And that’s the missing rule! It’s obvious once you notice it. It’s the magic behind How to Win Friends and Influence People. The book is just a collection of rules at its core. It’s the individual stories that make you believe them.
Be a good storyteller
This isn’t easy, and can’t really be taught. It comes with a mix of practice and life experience. But it’s so good, that even Dale kept it to himself.